{"id":1049,"date":"2021-08-24T08:00:45","date_gmt":"2021-08-24T06:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/?p=1049"},"modified":"2021-08-24T08:00:47","modified_gmt":"2021-08-24T06:00:47","slug":"emocni-zavislost-rozhodne-neni-laska","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/?p=1049","title":{"rendered":"Emo\u010dn\u00ed z\u00e1vislost rozhodn\u011b nen\u00ed l\u00e1ska"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Vztah by m\u011bl b\u00fdt tvo\u0159en dv\u011bma lidmi, kte\u0159\u00ed se miluj\u00ed a vz\u00e1jemn\u011b posouvaj\u00ed d\u00e1le. Mnoh\u00e9 partnerstv\u00ed v\u0161ak vznikaj\u00ed jen za jedin\u00fdm \u00fa\u010delem – utlumit nevy\u0159e\u0161enou bolest z d\u011btstv\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

St\u00e1le existuje mnoho t\u011bch, kte\u0159\u00ed nev\u011bd\u00ed fungovat ve zdrav\u00e9m svazku. Toxick\u00fd vztah je pro n\u011b zcela norm\u00e1ln\u00ed, proto\u017ee p\u0159edstavuje to, co znaj\u00ed a pot\u0159ebuj\u00ed – odv\u00e9st pozornost od nevy\u0159e\u0161en\u00fdch z\u00e1le\u017eitost\u00ed z d\u011btstv\u00ed a utlumit bolest, kterou jako d\u011bti pro\u017e\u00edvali.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Proto ji nahrad\u00ed nov\u00fdm zp\u016fsobem tr\u00e1pen\u00ed – z\u00e1vislost\u00ed na vztahu – kter\u00e1 je toxick\u00e1, nezdrav\u00e1 a \u0161kod\u00ed nejen osob\u00e1m, kter\u00fdch se vztah t\u00fdk\u00e1, ale i okol\u00ed a nejbli\u017e\u0161\u00edm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jak\u00fd je rozd\u00edl mezi l\u00e1skou a z\u00e1vislost\u00ed?
Zdrav\u00e9 partnerstv\u00ed dvou lid\u00ed m\u00e1 vypadat n\u00e1sledovn\u011b – nen\u00ed p\u0159\u00edtomna \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e1 nejistota, strach ani ned\u016fv\u011bra; partne\u0159i dbaj\u00ed na to, aby byli oba spokojeni, vz\u00e1jemn\u011b se posouvaj\u00ed dop\u0159edu, naslouchaj\u00ed si, efektivn\u011b \u0159e\u0161\u00ed probl\u00e9my a maj\u00ed na srdci spokojenost toho druh\u00e9ho.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dok\u00e1\u017e\u00ed pracovat se sv\u00fdmi rozd\u00edly, l\u00e1ska a akceptace roste a s\u00edl\u00ed v pr\u016fb\u011bhu \u010dasu, ve vztahu se c\u00edt\u00ed milov\u00e1ni a podporov\u00e1ni. Z\u00e1visl\u00fd vztah se d\u00e1 charakterizovat jako drama na pln\u00fd \u00favazek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Charakterizuje ho chaos, zmatek, pocity nejistoty a vlastn\u00ed bezcennosti. \u010clov\u011bk, z\u00e1visl\u00fd na vztahu si sv\u00e9ho partnera idealizuje, vztah nen\u00ed skute\u010dn\u00fd ale jen vysn\u011bnou p\u0159edstavou. Ignoruje rozd\u00edly, upne se na p\u0159edstavu toho b\u00fdt milov\u00e1n a t\u00e9 se dr\u017e\u00ed, a\u010dkoli mu ji vztah re\u00e1ln\u00e9 ned\u00e1v\u00e1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Z\u00e1visl\u00ed se vzd\u00e1vaj\u00ed sv\u00e9ho \u017eivota
Z\u00e1vislost na l\u00e1sce, nebo z\u00e1visl\u00fd vztah se d\u00e1 definovat specifick\u00fdmi charakteristikami chov\u00e1n\u00ed. Pia Mellody, klinick\u00e1 poradkyn\u011b a spisovatelka, zjistila, \u017ee nej\u010dast\u011bj\u0161\u00ed rysem z\u00e1vislosti na vztahu je \u010das investovan\u00fd p\u0159edm\u011btu na\u0161\u00ed z\u00e1vislosti. Osobu si postav\u00edme na piedestal, p\u0159id\u011blujeme jej\u00ed p\u0159ehnan\u00fd v\u00fdznam a hodnotu, a ob\u011btujeme v\u0161echen \u010das.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u010clov\u011bk se z\u00e1vislost\u00ed na l\u00e1sce se soust\u0159e\u010fuje pouze na objekt sv\u00e9ho z\u00e1jmu. Tato pozornost je \u010dasto obsesivn\u00ed a\u017e chorobn\u00e1, maj\u00edc\u00ed negativn\u00ed dopad na \u017eivot \u010dlov\u011bka. „Z\u00e1visl\u00ed na l\u00e1sce zahod\u00ed sv\u016fj \u017eivot, nestaraj\u00ed se ani si nev\u00e1\u017e\u00ed sami sebe jakmile jsou ve vztahu,“ tvrd\u00ed Mellody. \u017dij\u00ed pro partnera, d\u00e1vaj\u00ed mu ze sebe v\u0161echno – a\u017e jim sam\u00fdm nez\u016fstane z jejich vlastn\u00edho J\u00e1 nic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sv\u016fj \u017eivot, z\u00e1jmy, kari\u00e9ru pod\u0159\u00edd\u00ed partnerovi a z\u00e1visl\u00e9mu vztahu. Zanedb\u00e1vaj\u00ed vztahy s rodinou a p\u0159\u00e1teli, p\u0159est\u00e1vaj\u00ed se v\u011bnovat kon\u00ed\u010dk\u016fm – jakoby jejich \u017eivot byl jen \u010das str\u00e1ven\u00fd s partnerem, mimo ten nic jin\u00e9ho neexistuje.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Z\u00e1vislost na l\u00e1sce je podobn\u00e1 jak\u00e9koli jin\u00e9 z\u00e1vislosti
Je to obrann\u00fd mechanismus p\u0159ed nevy\u0159e\u0161enou bolest\u00ed, kterou se v\u0161emo\u017en\u011b sna\u017e\u00edme maskovat; m\u00edsto soust\u0159ed\u011bn\u00ed se na jeho vy\u0159e\u0161en\u00ed obr\u00e1t\u00edme pozornost na objekt z\u00e1vislosti (alkohol, drogy, v tomto p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b osoba).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Typick\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk, z\u00e1visl\u00fd na vztahu p\u0159est\u00e1v\u00e1 m\u00edt z\u00e1jem o sv\u011bt a \u017eivot p\u0159ed partnerem a aktivity, kter\u00e9 partnera nezahrnuj\u00ed. Jako jin\u00e9 z\u00e1vislosti, i tato rozvr\u00e1t\u00ed p\u0159\u00e1telstv\u00ed i samotnou rodinu \u010dlov\u011bka, v\u010detn\u011b kari\u00e9ry a osobn\u00edho \u017eivota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Antropolo\u017eka Helen Fisher souhlas\u00ed a dod\u00e1v\u00e1, \u017ee posedl\u00ed l\u00e1skou projevuj\u00ed v\u0161echny z\u00e1kladn\u00ed znaky z\u00e1vislosti – ba\u017een\u00ed, tolerance, sta\u017een\u00ed, relaps (op\u011btovn\u00e9 p\u0159ibl\u00ed\u017een\u00ed). Pokud je z\u00e1vislost „p\u0159eru\u0161ena“, z\u00e1visl\u00fd c\u00edt\u00ed intenzivn\u00ed emocion\u00e1ln\u00ed „abs\u0165\u00e1k“. Z\u00e1vislost mu \u0159\u00edd\u00ed doslova cel\u00fd \u017eivot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

hrozba samoty
Emocion\u00e1ln\u00ed z\u00e1vislost se tak\u00e9 naz\u00fdv\u00e1 patologick\u00e1 l\u00e1ska, proto\u017ee se vztahuje k vzorcem chov\u00e1n\u00ed, charakterizovan\u00fdm maladaptivn\u00ed a nadm\u011brn\u00fdm z\u00e1jmem o partnera, kter\u00fd vede k nedostatku kontroly, z\u0159eknut\u00ed se sv\u00fdch z\u00e1jm\u016f a dal\u0161\u00edch negativn\u00edch d\u016fsledk\u016f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Z\u00e1visl\u00ed na l\u00e1sce se d\u011bs\u00ed b\u00fdt bez partnera; z toho d\u016fvodu ve vztahu setrv\u00e1vaj\u00ed i p\u0159es intenzivn\u00edm h\u00e1dk\u00e1m, oso\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed, slovn\u00edmu i fyzick\u00e9mu napad\u00e1n\u00ed a op\u011btovn\u00e9mu p\u0159ekra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed hranic (nap\u0159\u00edklad tolerance bitvy a poni\u017eov\u00e1n\u00ed).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Nez\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed na tom, jak partner ubl\u00ed\u017eil, z\u00e1visl\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk ho v\u017edy p\u0159ijme zp\u011bt. Nen\u00ed schopen vzd\u00e1t se vztahu, proto\u017ee samota vytv\u00e1\u0159\u00ed vnit\u0159n\u00ed konflikt – strach ze samoty a opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed – a z toho d\u016fvodu p\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00ed k pop\u00edr\u00e1n\u00ed z\u00e1va\u017enosti situace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kde se bere na\u0161e pot\u0159eba z\u00e1vislosti na vztahu?
Z\u00e1vislost na l\u00e1sce je forma obrany p\u0159ed nevy\u0159e\u0161enou psychickou bolest\u00ed. Lid\u00e9 v z\u00e1visl\u00e9m vztahu m\u011bli oby\u010dejn\u011b velmi nejist\u00e9 vazby jako mali\u010dk\u00e9 d\u011bti – to znamen\u00e1, \u017ee jim rodi\u010de neposkytli dostate\u010dnou l\u00e1sku, jistotu a bezpe\u010d\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Proto\u017ee d\u011bti nep\u0159estanou milovat rodi\u010de ale samy sebe, jako formu obrany si vztah idealizuj\u00ed. Rodi\u010d je pro d\u00edt\u011b skv\u011bl\u00e1 osoba, to ono samo nen\u00ed hodn\u00e9 jeho l\u00e1sky; v tomto p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b je nelaskav\u00e9 a neadekv\u00e1tn\u00ed chov\u00e1n\u00ed rodi\u010de d\u00edt\u011btem ospravedln\u011bno – rodi\u010d neud\u011blal chybu, to ono si nezaslou\u017e\u00ed b\u00fdt milovan\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tento typ vztahu si pak p\u0159en\u00e1\u0161\u00ed i do sv\u00fdch budouc\u00edch vztah\u016f – idealizuje si partnera, a sna\u017e\u00ed se d\u011blat v\u0161e proto, aby si jeho l\u00e1sku z\u00edskal. S\u00e1m se pova\u017euje za nehodnotn\u00e9 \u010dlov\u011bka, proto prot\u011bj\u0161ku ob\u011btuje v\u0161echen sv\u016fj \u010das a doslova \u017eivot, aby dostal l\u00e1sku, kterou jako d\u00edt\u011b nem\u011bl.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Vztah by m\u011bl b\u00fdt tvo\u0159en dv\u011bma lidmi, kte\u0159\u00ed se miluj\u00ed a vz\u00e1jemn\u011b posouvaj\u00ed d\u00e1le. Mnoh\u00e9 partnerstv\u00ed v\u0161ak vznikaj\u00ed jen za jedin\u00fdm \u00fa\u010delem – utlumit nevy\u0159e\u0161enou bolest z d\u011btstv\u00ed. St\u00e1le existuje mnoho t\u011bch, kte\u0159\u00ed nev\u011bd\u00ed fungovat ve zdrav\u00e9m svazku. Toxick\u00fd vztah je pro n\u011b zcela norm\u00e1ln\u00ed, proto\u017ee p\u0159edstavuje to, co znaj\u00ed a pot\u0159ebuj\u00ed – odv\u00e9st pozornost […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1050,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_sitemap_exclude":false,"_sitemap_priority":"","_sitemap_frequency":"","tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1049","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-pro-zeny"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1049","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1049"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1049\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1052,"href":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1049\/revisions\/1052"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1050"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1049"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1049"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifestyleplus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1049"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}